If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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