Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I want a musical about memes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
