After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize