She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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