and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
