mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
