What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
