I showed him my bush... on skype.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
