All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
