Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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