yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
