I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
