Pappa wants mamma naked
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
