her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
