Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
