32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
