yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Randomize
