We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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