hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's Friday. Sex?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
