and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You're like the curious george of whores
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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