Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
