whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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