I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
