No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
