that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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