it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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