he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
