Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
