Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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