One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
