I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
