Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
