If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
