Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
