Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
