Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
