If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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