I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
