Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
