She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
tell me about the fingering
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
