I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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