That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need to align my fucking chakras
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
