Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
