The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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