fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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