I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
