then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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