Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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