She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
