It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm experimenting with sincerity
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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