my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
